Blinded by love, used and abused and left to pick up the pieces after public scrutiny and humiliation: even a veteran Hollywood screenwriter would’ve been found it challenging to script a tale as juicy and salacious as the real-life drama that LisaRaye McCoy’s endured over the last couple of years.  Fans and foes of the movie and sitcom actress (The Wood, The Player’s Club, All of Us) alike found themselves wincing at the stinging accounts left on gossip blogs and circulating in the press about the actress’ tumultuous marriage to the Premier of Turks and Caicos, Michael Misick, which, shortly after the honeymoon, was riddled with lies, infidelities and allegations financial/governmental corruption….and that was before the full-on physical showdown. Whew!

Intent on clearing the air and re-establishing her brand as an actress and entrepreneur, Ms. McCoy, 42, premiered her reality show, The Real McCoy, on TVOne last week, giving fans and foes an unprecedented look behind the scenes as she picks up the pieces both personally and professionally. During a candid chat with DSN, Ms. McCoy revealed her plans for the future, where she is in her relationship with the former Premier and why, over 10 years after the fact,  she has no problem answering to the name of Diamond.

LORRIE IRBY JACKSON- I don’t normally watch reality TV LisaRaye, but your show was a major exception. I’m really enjoying what I’ve seen so far and I hope it’s just the beginning for you.

LISARAYE MCCOY- See? That is why it’s so important to do interviews so we sisters can connect like this. I appreciate you.

LIJ- Cool! Let’s clear things up from the beginning: what is the one thing that the public has completely twisted about you?

LRM-One of the perceptions that hurts my feelings is that I’m a gold digger. Knowing where I come from and how I was raised, it’s hard for them to come up with that about me. They don’t know me like that, you know? Don’t hate on the fact that I know and understand my value and what I bring to the table as far my spouse, my significant other, my husband, or my fiancé. I’m not anybody ‘less than’ or trying to be somebody’s mother, I’m trying to be a wife, girlfriend, fiancée.

LIJ – So where do you think that comes from?

LM-It’s just our race, really: it’s like some of our women don’t understand the value of what we are to the man. You know how they say that ‘behind every strong man is a strong woman’? if we (women) keep letting them see fit to do what they want to do, when they want to do it and how they wanna do it, then we ain’t talking about nothing! We need to all have a standing oath to be like, ‘look Negro, cut it out!’ (laughs) We’re constantly going though this society trying to earn something, do something and get something back in return. You want to be with someone powerful, you want to be with someone going somewhere, you want to be with someone who’s got something and is going to take you with them so you all can build together! But if that’s ‘gold digging,’ then go ahead and call it digging.

LIJ- So that’s just a part of being pro-woman?

LRM-Not to say that we shouldn’t pick our black men up: we definitely gonna be soldiers for them, we definitely got their back, but you damn sure gotta have mine too. And you gotta have your own back to begin with before you have someone else’s.

LIJ- Can’t argue with that. Another aspect that I learned of you from the show is the closer-than-close relationship you have with your adult daughter, Kai, which was good to see.

LRM-Isn’t it an incredible feeling to have that unconditional love? I would encourage every woman to become a mother because there’s nothing like that love at all. I understand now why my outlook on life changed after I had her, we have an incredible bond.

When she first found out about everything that was going on with the divorce from the blogs, she was at school at the University of Buckingham in London, and I was being a mother hen and trying to protect her, so when she offered to leave, I was telling her ‘no no baby, mommy’s okay, it’s cool.’

But she wasn’t feeling that in her heart, so she came home and said ‘I am going to school here in the States to be with you, cuz’ you need me.’ And at that moment, I really did need her, and it wasn’t until she started demonstrating how she could help me through it that I said, ‘You know what? You have given me back that drive, the no-nonsense hustle to do that makes me do what I gotta do to make it do what it gotta do so I can take care of you and me.’ And I love her to death for that.

LIJ- She comes across as very grounded and intelligent, you’ve done a fine job with her.

LRM-I feel that I’m old enough to still have the respect of being her mother, but young enough to be able to have her relate to me and for me to relate to her. I’ve been a single parent, she’s been through everything with me, so she understands the growth, she understands the pain, we’re there with each other.

LIJ- What, besides your daughter, helped you to keep it together in the midst of all you went through?

LRM- Prayer, and failure is not an option. I’m love life, I love living life, and I love laughing. I prefer to look at the glass as half-full instead of seeing it as half-empty and trust this, I had my ‘Lord Have Mercy’ Fund off to the side. That’s the money that you need to have when it gets bad, but I’m still in this economy like everyone else thinking about, ‘okay, where’s the money coming in?’ My reserves are dwindling down, so that is why I’m back to business, back to doing me, back to my career, so I’m very grateful that I have an opportunity and a place to return to, that my fans are telling me ‘we want to see you on the big screen, we miss you, welcome back.’ And that speaks volumes to me.

LIJ- I have to admit, one of the main reasons I liked the film Players Club is not just because of Ice Cube, but because you humanized what could’ve been a very clichéd role.

LRM-  Thank you. I have friends that were strippers. And when I did the research, it made me realize that these women are just that—women, and it’s just a job to most of them. A lot them are working their way through school, some are doctors and lawyers, working on the side to pay for their houses, get the cars paid for, taking care of their families, and they gotta do what they gotta do! It ain’t easy having somebody look up the crack of your ***, it ain’t his *** up there, you know? (cracks up) To this day, when I go into clubs, they say ‘there goes Diamond!’ I’m the ULTIMATE stripper Girl! I’m forever going to be Diamond to them, and that’s okay.

LIJ-  Since your two best-known roles have been as a stripper and a mother, have you found yourself typecast with Hollywood as either one or the other? What did you enjoy most about working in All of Us?

LRM-There’s been a little bit of typecasting, but it doesn’t bother me. I know that I’m a strong mother, so I know I can portray those kinds of roles and look real about it. I love the role I played as Niecy James in All of Us, ‘cuz I portrayed a hip, friendly mom that knew for the betterment of the child, the parents had to get along. Niecy was there to let people know that you ain’t gotta not get along with your baby’s daddy. You ain’t gotta slit no tires and bust the windows, you’ve gotta get along for the upbringing of that child. That’s what the show was all about. We can’t be fathers, we’re mothers, and the fathers can’t do what we do, so the child needs us both to do our part.

LIJ-Exactly. Since you’re now back home in the States, have you maintained any ties to the Turks and Caicos Islands? What have relations been like for you as far as yourself and the inhabitants?

LRM- I have a huge presence in Turks and Caicos based on what I have done for the country. There are a group of people who are his constituents and supporters that feel as though he should have married an Island woman, you know? But for me, I left my friends and family, the life I knew and how I was raised, to come and live on this Island that was 31 miles long and I had no one there.

I’m trying to be welcomed, I’m trying to establish myself….and it’s not until I do interviews like this, where there’s an opportunity for my voice to be heard, that I’ve realized just how much I have done for T&C.  I had an incredible opportunity, it was an historical run, being the first African-American actress to be a First Lady, and for me to know that I raised tourism 41%, that I brought the island’s first carnival there and  started the film festival. I set up fundraisers for them even in the midst of the divorce, for the Hurricane Ike victims after the capital was destroyed there, getting sponsors to send them clothes, food, toys for the kids. I can hold my head up high girl and go back there anytime I want to. There’s a whole island full of people who love LisaRaye. But for those who don’t, you can’t win em all, you can’t make everybody happy.

LIJ- Where are you and Mr. Misick as far as your relationship and the settlement?

LRM- The divorce is final, but as for the settlement, that has been held up. The problem is with the T&C islands, because they and Mr. Misick are both under investigation for corruption of governmental funds, as well as him being investigated for the rape allegation that he had.

LIJ- Would you call those problems the ones that ultimately tore the union apart?

LRM-  Definitely. As a new wife, you can imagine how I felt. Like, ‘wait a minute, fool—you got a mistress? How dare you do that at home? Ain’t that much game in the world!’ His country tore him up, and as his wife, you know I wanted to do the same damn thing! I barely had time to recover because  by then, I started uncovering a whole bunch of secrets and by then, I was like ‘hold up dude, I’m American, we don’t get down like that.’

LIJ- I cannot even begin to guess how awful all of that drama was for you.

LRM- After the altercation we had, and I know you heard about that, a whole slew of women came out about domestic violence. I didn’t know that a lot of my friends who were married to island men were also married to womanizers. I’d like to think that Michael Misick was not that type of person—it definitely wasn’t the man that I married— but I really feel like he just got caught up. He should actually caught himself and understood the dignity and the pride that you should use to uphold the position of being a Premier of T&C.

LIJ-So his head got swollen up as he took the position, or was it cultural? Or both?

LRM-He’s done a lot for the island, don’t get me wrong, he’s really built that island up, but you can’t get greedy in the midst of that when you have a new Hollywood wife who’s bringing entertainers and investors over, who are hosting vice presidents, sheiks, CEOs….I lost him in all of that. I don’t know what happened or how it happened, but it did happen.

LIJ-Have you spoken to him since that last fight where you left the island?

LRM- We’ve spoken, it was very civil and we made amends, there was a lot of apologies passed in that conversation. My heart was heavy, because I did need realize that I took him for granted. One thing’s for sure, the marriage really gave me an incredible opportunity. He introduced me to a wonderful country and a wonderful life. He treated me very, very well and embrace my family and friends, so for that, I appreciate him. But I did take him for granted, so wholeheartedly, I told him I was sorry for that. We both wish it hadn’t turned out that way.

LIJ-So, for your male fans reading this, are you single to mingle now?

LRM- (laughing) I am so on the market! But with me being a former First Lady, they gotta bring it!

LIJ-What’s a surefire way to turn you off when you do meet an eligible man?

LRM- A person that is not generous, someone that doesn’t have any family values or a person doesn’t know how to communicate.
LIJ-Besides The Real McCoy, what else is on the horizon for you professionally?

LRM- I just auditioned with Queen Latifah’s production company for a movie that she’s doing for VH1, I actually just got that part. We start filming next month in Atlanta. I’m starting a book that should be out by the end of this year, and it’s for women, because I want women to understand our value and know what we bring to the table. I want them to aim high and I want them to start to make some of these men step up to the plate, and you can’t do that unless you at the plate your damn self! There’s a new business venture that I just started entitled “B2B,” amixer and networking organization.

It’s during Memorial Day Weekend, May 28-31 in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and we’re doing concerts, comedy shows, empowerment seminars, and it’s about getting back to doing what you do, back to regrouping, back to refocusing on you, your career, your investments, your family, whatever that is. We gotta bridge the gap in this economy.

LIJ- Do you still have to audition a lot?

LRM-I still have to do the cattle calls, so to speak. It’s nerve-wracking, but it is what we have to go through as black actresses, because there’s not that much work out here for us.  You tend to see all your friends at the same auditions. You just gotta say to yourself, “If I don’t get it, maybe the next woman will. Somebody’s gotta collect that check.

LIJ- Your strength and resilience are amazing LisaRaye. What keeps you hopeful in the game of love, and what advice do you have to other women struggling in the midst of change?

LRM-It’s called having sanity. Insanity means that you’re doing the same things over and over and expecting a change. You’ve got to do something different and step out on faith. You cannot bring your old baggage into something new. Learn from that, move forward and give love a chance.’ Love is a wonderful thing, it’s very powerful. I’m a fan of marriage, I’m a fan of belonging to someone and I would love to belong with someone because it’s easier to fight life with a partner than not. Someone to have your back, someone you can bounce ideas off of, someone to encourage you and build you up, someone that’s ultimately your best friend.

And when you’re going through something? Sit right in the midst of it. Wallow in it for a while if you will, because you need to know where the hell you are at that moment. Sit still humbly, come up with a plan, pray, walk out on faith, put for your head up high, cry when you need to, wipe them tears and keep it moving, because we fall down but we damn sure got to get up.

LIJ-Thank you LisaRaye, I wish you the best.

LRM- Thank you for pouring that love on me, it’s good for my ego! (laughing) We definitely need to stay in touch.

Lorrie Irby Jackson is a freelance journalist based in Dallas and has covered entertainment professionally for several years, writing many articles for The Dallas Morning News. Her e-mail address is lorrie@dallassouthnews.org