By LD Thomas – Special to Dallas South News

In certain African tribes when a boy child reaches the age of 12, all parental guidance switches from the mother to the father. He is indoctrinated into to the brotherhood of elders, men, and young men and taught not only by the elder men in the tribe but also by his slightly older contemporaries what it is to be a man.

He’s shown how to think like a man, walk like a man, talk like a man, and fight–like a man. Just as steel sharpens steel, men shape other men. It’s a responsibility often overlooked, but its impact is undeniable. It is time that we as black men examine how we interact with each other and create a more prefect brotherhood.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by many influential men who have had positive impacts on my life. From preachers to politicians, from fraternity brothers to young mentees. Some had corner offices others had offices on the corner. I had one grandfather who taught me to never stop fighting for what I believe in and another who taught me Jesus is the only thing worth believing.

At a time when so many young black men are fatherless I was blessed to have two. One who taught me love isn’t biological and the other taught that sometimes even heroes need a holiday. I also mentored a very special group of young men, whom I will never forget. They taught me that even in this world that sometimes feels like little more than a boulevard of broken dreams, with all its heartbreaks, despair, and disappointment, there are still indisputable reasons to leave this world better than I found it.

Because I saw some bit of me as a black man in them, the way they lived there lives shaped the way I wanted to live mine. Their mere existence served as an example and set the standard. To them all I say thank you.

Unfortunately, our brotherly interactions are not limited to mentors and line brothers. Remember, it was Cain who slew Able- his brother. Today’s generation may call them haters. Previous generations called them backstabbers. Now I am not blind to the fact that individuals who pray for your downfall come in many shapes, colors, and ethnicity. But am I alone when I say that the poison is a little more bitter and the stab wound a little deeper when it comes from a brother?

Someone who you thought was fighting the same battles and wagging the same war. Someone you thought had your back only to stab you in yours. We have got to stop that black men. Whether its Jesse Jackson and President Obama or 50 Cent and Jay Z, the hate is still the same. But why is there so much jealousy between those who have such a close kinship? Your success is not tied to his failure. The truth is, some of us cannot handle the mirror when it tells us what we could have been or should have been, had we worked as hard as he did.

We all have haters, some of mine are reading this right now. But even our hating brothers can help us to grow. Mine have taught me so much. I wouldn’t know how strong I was, or how to validate my own beliefs or that sometimes being a leader means you have to stand alone; or that everybody in your corner isn’t rooting for you but you still don’t throw in the towel.

I learned to use the hate and motivate myself, elevate my understanding, and never reciprocate the hate–only demonstrate how it ought to have been done in the first place. And to all my haters, naysayers I say thank you.

So the reality is this: I believe a huge portion of our actions are directly tied to our subconscious still trying to find our place in the tribe. No one has more of an influence on you than another black man. Whether its wanting to be the father to your kids you never had or spending $200.00 on a pair of shoes because you can’t let Ray Ray out do you.

Whether it’s stepping up or sitting back, no one has more of an influence on other black men than you. So if the young men need to be taught , let us teach them. If the women need to be loved and protected let us love and protect. If the world needs changing then let us change it. As someone once said you can’t change the world without first changing yourself.

LeVar “LD” Thomas is a public speaker, recent Dallas City Council Candidate, former member of several City of Dallas boards and commission, and currently holds several leadership positions in many progressive organizations throughout Dallas.