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Single Black Women: Admire Them and Leave Them Alone

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By: Jeff Bolton – KLIF 570’s host of The Jeff Bolton Show

Young black women in America – many of whom have been grossly labeled in the vile underbelly of hip hop culture with street monikers — bitches, ho’s and baby mamas — are displaying a gutsy propensity in 2010 to succeed in life on their own terms, and this has the chattering classes truly abuzz because these women are succeeding without the benefit of marriage to stable, faithful, loving black men.Young Black Women

If you’ve been listening to the pop culture media machine lately, much ado has been made about the dearth of intelligent, faithful, successful black males for the growing pool of single, unmarried, successful black women.  In the same discussion, much has been made of the startling statistics confirming that single, unmarried, successful black women are earning advanced college degrees at a rate far greater than young black males.

These issues are being reported with no small amount of energy given to the efforts of these remarkable women.  Here’s the answer to the issue and we’ll put the subject to rest once and for all:  admire these women and leave them alone. There’s nothing wrong with them. They shouldn’t be forced into a box made by society’s expectations for them. Why is the sad, tired story of the failure of black men in society placed ahead of that of the success of black women in this pop culture reporting?

For society to become concerned with the plight of black women now that black women are succeeding on their own terms would be comical if it weren’t so sad.  Many of the black women succeeding today have toiled in obscurity for years at the bottom of the societal barrel, often in broken homes and with life circumstances that would melt most people.  The fact that our society is saying black women need to find a good black man to settle down with is an insult.

To make this situation even worse, in a society that honors men over women, the first point registered by opinion makers when discussing the plight of black women is the story that young black men are statistically an abject failure in virtually every area of measurement in our culture. And so it goes, this makes black men unavailable to the legions of young black women graduating with advanced degrees. These women deserve to have their accomplishments and success celebrated first. The fact that they are succeeding should stand on its own. Admire these remarkable young black women succeeding on their terms against great odds, and let society leave it’s box for their lives in the gutter where it belongs.



Categories: Featured, Point of View
  • Victoria

    I write for a blog that discusses a lot of what you are saying. As a Black Woman, I have also encouraged Black Women to look beyond the box in regards to dating. In other words, don’t shut other men out just because they are a non-black man (which is the case a lot with black females).

  • Victoria

    I would also like to say that I listen to you every morning and I am sooooo addicted! Thanks for everything that you and helping educate the public! I have been significantly inspired to read and know more about history and politics.

  • Arlington Caller

    Thank you so much for this Jeff! As a black woman caller to your show, I commend you for pointing out the obvious. Why do these people suddenly care now? Because the most powerful man in the world (the president) is married to a black woman?

  • Lorrie Irby Jackson

    The media’s preoccupation with the marital status of Af/Amer women at the exclusion of others is disturbing and needs to be addressed, thanks for weighing in with common sense and for acknowledging the obvious!

  • Ann

    Good Post.

  • anonymous

    Thank you for thoughtful defense of a group of women (myself included) who seem to be an easy target for music, movies and now television “news” magazines!

  • Beverly

    Hi Jeff,

    As an African-American woman who is single and often maligned by both black and whites because of my marital status, I want to thank you for your article. I too grew up in very difficult circumstances and I have overcome them and now run my own business. I have no out-of-wedlock children; however I am often berated because of that fact and “encouraged” to settle for deadbeats. I even had an older woman tell me that I should marry the “brothers” in prison. Many successful and single African American women are under assault, it is refreshing to see someone admire our success for a change.

  • Maqueda

    As an Afr.Amer. woman I thank you for this comment sense viewpoint: Admire them and leave them alone! It took a white man, and I do mean MAN, to say this.
    Again, thank you

  • Keshia DAwn

    Wonderful article. Stay in the box, jump out the box? Decisions, decisions, decisions.

  • Sarah

    I am proud to be a successful black woman, but I do wonder at the fact that it seems like minority men suffer the most in our society.

    A theory I have about the fate of African-American men in America is this: in olden times societies of people would wage war with other societies of people, and the winning group would make sure to kill all the men (or make slaves of them), and also kill all the children. But they would save the women, for if they mated with the women, they would bear the conquering groups children.

    I know I’m generalizing, but I think its interesting that minority women do so well, while minority men struggle so much.

    Of course, men all around have not been succeeding to the level that women have as of late.

  • Victoria

    Sarah, this couldn’t be further from the truth and sounds borderline crazy if you ask me. If one Black Man can make it and get a degree, so can the others. I am speaking of personal responsibility here. I am a black woman and have 2 brothers who graduated with their degrees. I also know of quite a few black men that graduated with their degrees and are successful as well. The black men, just like any other non-black men, are responsible for their own actions and how well they do in life. If they so choose to not do anything with their lives are get involved in illegal activities, it is their own fault, not society’s and until we start holding all people accountable for THEIR actions, they will always feel justified in doing the things that make them a drain on society and unproductive.

  • Moni

    Thank you Jeff! Ever since Michelle has become the First Lady, there has been an onslaught of negative images and commentary. Michelle Obama is well-spoken, classy, fit, formally educated and happily married with children. It’s as if the media wants to quickly remind black women of who we “really are” and to not get lost in the “fantasy” that is Michelle’s life.
    So what do they do? Replace magazine cover images of the Gabby Unions with the Gabby Sidibes, promote televised discussions and books written by self-appointed black relationship gurus who are nothing more than womanizers themselves (Harvey and Harper) and fill the magazines and e-mags with articles on single black womanhood to plague us with self-doubt, loneliness and bitterness. It’s so pathetic; and I don’t hear this nonsense about black women in countries like the United Kingdom. They really need to leave us alone.

  • Shametra L.

    @Beverly-I found the fact that you feel one of your attributes is “not having out of wedlock children” hilarious. You may need to change your outlook and circle….or not.

    @Sarah-Interesting observation.


  • Greg Dragon

    Very good article on this tired topic, I wish more people would step out against this meme more-so than capitalizing on it, right VH1? This is another one of those negative topics where we are our own worse enemy based on t \he interest level for those reality tv shows that keep spawning heads.

  • Victoria

    Jeff, I just wanted to let you know that this article is being submitted as a link on various black women empowerment sites. We really appreciate your insight and response to this issue. Ironically, I saw a discussion on facebook where some black men were offended and am baffled as why.

  • Michael

    I am enjoying watching this discussion! Jeff, thanks so much for this article. It definitely inspired some new ideas on my end.

    I am thankful for my Black male editor-in-chief who allowed this Black male intern to solicit this article from a White man. I am very excited to see how my immediate concerns for my sisters mirrored those of a White gentleman who articulated our need to respect & cherish Black women. We were able to produce this celebration of Black Womanhood seen on our site today as a community of men supporting women. Much has been accomplished, though there is still much to do.

    Thank you all for such engaging conversation!


  • Victoria

    Well, Michael. I had never heard of Dallas South News until Jeff promoted his article on his talk show. Now, I have subscribed and look forward to seeing more from this publication. Thank you so much for being open to all views and letting the readers make their choice on how to believe.

  • edrina

    @Moni-I agree with you 100%. Your post is the 1st comment that I’ve read on any blog or website that realize what is actually happening. All the negative attention and statistics we are now being bombarded with is to marginalize our FLOTUS. We are falling all over ourselves with knee jerk reactions in responding to these issues. Why are we believing and accepting at face value?

  • HarleyQ

    I applaud that article you wrote. There are definately more upwardly mobile black women and people try to put us in a “box.” I have a masters and my dear friend has a phd and we both discuss this issue all the time. There is the expectation in the black community that we as women are responsible for dragging the uneducated/lack of ambitious men with out but I say absolutely not. I do wish people would just be proud of the accomplishment of black women and shut up about everything else

  • Cicely

    Thank you! Great post!

  • Anj

    Great Post, Jeff. Thank you for acknowledging what many others choose not to acknowledge. :)

  • itshim

    If these black women are such hot commodities, why isn’t the host preaching for more white men to date and marry these black women? Is he married to a black woman? Are his sons willing to marry a black woman? WHy not encourage some of his single white male friends and relatives to date and marry them?

  • RealityChecker

    This talk show host is speaking on something he doesn’t fully understand the dynamics of. It is Black women who are running to the media and complaning about their lack of marriage prospects, which is the result of all races of men not seeking them out.

  • RealityChecker

    Posted before I finished…

    If Black women want to be “left alone”, then they need to stop bothering people with their tales of woe about being single. The Jill Scotts of the world need to stop wincing at Black men who date other women. No one held a gun to the head of the women (Sherri Shepard et al.) who sat on the panel or in the audience on that Nightline special. Not only do too many of these Black women not want to be “left alone”, it is as if some of them are taking a perverse pleasure in it.

    If they want it to go away, then they should stop squawking about it.

  • Kay

    Great Article Jeff. Thanks!

  • Lorraine

    A thousand thanks to you for your shrewd insight. You have summed up quite nicely what many in the black community and society at large can’t seem to grasp. Black women will be singing your praises all around the world because this post has gone viral. I personally sent it to several friends some of whom had already seen it. Thanks a mil.

    Wow, someone who gets it!

  • Betty Chambers

    I’m not surprised that it didn’t take long for the negative crabs to start attacking black women. We have this decent man Jeff writing in defense of black women and the anti-bw misogynists start emerging from under their rocks. Crawl back under it!

    This was a great article, and very very true: people need to leave black women alone. It’s irrelevant what some of us are doing, or not doing. Whatever focus the media has on some, they do not represent all of us, but the media makes it seem that way. Whatever social ills black men inflict on themselves have nothing to do with us either.

    I heartily agree with the article: “Leave us alone!!!”

  • coptic777

    Read the comments still boasting about so many of us are low lifes gay etc. Yes ladies that is a sure way to make good black men want you. You will never look at yourselves EVER. There is a reason why when you look around most “successful” BM are not w/ BW. We are making a choice to opt out on them. The hardcore feminist attitudes, weaves perms to look like white women & quite simply the insults on T.V. constantly calling us losers, gay etc has made the best of us look in another direction. When you look at the statistics of BW # 1 in abortions of ALL WOMEN. Number 1 users of the court system of ALL WOMEN. You know the same system that has blacks locked up at a 45% rate (traitors). Fastest rise in H.I.V. rates high herpes rates & anti-male family courts that give complaining women huge sway (vaginamony etc). Why would we want to deal w/ them. It’s actually a danger to our health.

  • coptic777

    Oh by the way black women are the least likely to BREAST FEED of ALL WOMEN. You want to know why our children are behind in school. That and the disportionate numbers BW in the STD’s, abortions etc. does not make them a good catch period. Time to look in the mirror. Good luck w/ the other races of men. They work w/ you they see at the mall on t.v. complaining etc. They want no part of you for the most part.

  • Nikita

    Thank you Jeff!! It is so wonderful to be appreciated and to be seen. BW deserve to be seen as beautiful, driven, spiritual etc., because this is what we are. Attacking us/giving attention to us about making it despite the odds, despite folks telling us what we can’t have or what we should not ask for because we are successful in our careers and obtaining an education is ridiculous. We have the right to voice our pains and concerns, as all women – all people do. We have the right to disagree and to speak in concert as all people do, we are not less. This attention that we are getting is due to a power shift that is scaring a lot of folks. Unless all of us turned into Oprah overnight, we have neither the power or the money to make the media pay us so much attention as we have received lately. Everything about who we are was once misaligned. Butt to big, lips to big, confidence too much, voice too loud. It is now being corrected and yes, copied.. Years of sacrifice, pain, being ignored and disrespected should have, according to the world broke us and made us silent & obsolete, content with the place we were granted to breathe in but yet we rise and we prosper. Aren’t we still women, both beautiful and desired by all men? The answer is YES. Some are attempting to make our progress into something ugly, our desires to be loved into something perverse and something we should be ashamed of. It is a lie. We have the right to our feelings, to our desires and to our success. If they cannot stop attacking us YES we should be left alone. We are suppose to be cherished, we are supposed to be protected because we TOO are women. It is a shame that so many have forgotten this & cannot take pleasure & pride in our success.

  • Faith

    I wanted to leave a comment. This is a good start of the types of conversations we need to be having. Praising the fortitude and achievements of black women.

    It’s a positive focus. No one cares (or should care) about the plight of the “downtrodden” black male. There are plenty of people and organizations at the ready to take up their causes.

    It’s time for black women to see themselves as WOMEN first, RACE second. To see their survival as a sign of strength…but to stop trying to be superwomen.

    There’s a lot of people out there who would love to provide us with companionship. Only the most foolish would not seek it our or even worse, push it away.

  • mona

    This is a very well written article Jeff. Thank you.

    As for some of the black men who are leaving rude comments, let me tell you guys something. The not all black woman give to sh*ts who or what you date once you make it, because believe me, we are doing what we want with our lives. None of you have the power to control us. I see that some of you are trying to break down our confidence. It’s NOT working for those with an ounce of sense. Bashing others makes you nothing but bitter!!!

  • Jessica

    Your comments make absolutely no sense at all. Our children are behind in school because they weren’t breast fed? That is the most ridiculous and downright idiotic I have read in a long time!!! LOL.

    You’re just a vicitm of having no mind of your own and believing every negative “statistic” that is put out there concerning BW. How would you know how many BW are having abortions or have STD’s. Guess what? Women of other races do as well including the white woman that you’re dating. Guess what else? It doesn’t matter who you date. BW will be just fine.

  • Sky

    Oh by the way black women are the least likely to BREAST FEED of ALL WOMEN.

    I take it you weren’t breast feed. You can always make up for that you know.

    Jeff thank you for writing this long overdue article. I’ll be graduating this summer with my bachelor’s degree. I very happy about this sucess in my life and I can’t wait to explore new opportunites after all this is over. I plan to travel, take audit classes, and try new activites. Im young (24) and I don’t plan to waste my days sitting down pitting myself just because I accomplished something. That’s for people who haven’t accomplished anything.

  • freakquency

    I am not African American, but I have to say I had to keep myself from cheering while reading your article. Apparently in the US, the focus is on AA women. In the rest of the world, in Europe (I live in France and come from Senegal), women are pressured in an insidious way to date, get married and start a family.
    people seem to care more about single women than they care about the economy, health and politics.
    the danger of this pressure is that we are setting up ourselves to create a society of divorcees, commitment phobics and miserable people. Too dark? I wish it was just my cynicism talking. I am witnessing friends getting married really young for every reasons but love to divorce a year after, not even. I’m seeing more people wanting weddings or relationships just for the status, or just to copy, please family… not knowing who they are getting involved with (LITERALLY!), not thinking at all about what being in a marriage will look like (finance, sex life, raising children, planning a week, cooking food lol…). I call this generation of couples the Barbie & Ken generation. people looking happy together but no anticipation of how their life change after they get married. I guess they assume they will be holding hands, kissing, living forever after.
    On the other hand, women who rush into relationships to conform and fail, hear or read that after 30 not married, no children, you’re pretty much done or you’re close to shopping at the sperm bank.

    An observation I want to make though about this topic constantly coming back is that it seems like with the high unemployment rates all over the world, last recourse after blaming it on immigrants, is to indirectly blame it on the women.
    the question “why successful women are single?” could be also worded differently: “women! stop going after careers, start popping babies, make my meal and stay home, so us men can go back to working those jobs you are taking away from us.” of course it’s bs, just like it’s nonsense to blame unemployment on immigrants taking jobs away. but it seems to be working. dating sites are booming, women are going one disastrous relationship after the other, marrying, divorcing, hooking up, having polygamous relationships, just because we have the impression is the number one priority to be with someone…

  • Sparks

    Poor Things. All that running to the media to eviscerate Black Men backfiring huh? What Black Women did to the Black Community chasing after feminism has had horrendous results for all except those sitting pretty with forty years worth of bribes funded by all citizens money.

    Promoting single mother households and making it unfeasible for fathers to stay in the children’s lives (what Black Women are doing in Family Court with 90perc winning sole custody is sinful.) should be awarded with study as the media is currently doing (only took them 40 yrs.) have no sympathy for their plight, they had none regarding anyone else. Bed. Made. Lie.

    Exactly when were black women going to “Leave alone” their men? Poor Black Women…running into their own hypocrisy. How about Single Black Women: Worthy of Dissing and Denigration. You’ve burned many bridges in your battle for the Matriarchy ruining our community with your screwed-up “Village”. What jokes. Wait til they turn on you. Your next. You feel it don’t you.? Things slipping?

    The pay-back on 40 yrs of derision (including those of their own Hip-Hop sons who they raised via biased Family Courts which allowed them to distance fathers from their children were the most prolific to call them out of their name-HAHA) is gonna be HUGE.

  • Queenie

    I think it’s ‘amazing’ how the only group of men who seem to bash and ridicule the women from their communities are black Americans, EVEN here on the commenting section of an article that just praised their efforts. As a non-American black woman, I hold the belief that people should date whoever they want to date and I exercise this right to date whoever I please :-) .
    White this/black that…. no one cares, seriously! No offense, but many Americans are still hung up on race that sometimes I wonder if we’re still in the 17th century. Nonetheless, it’s nice to see that many black American women are doing very well. They are opening their minds to date people who they are COMPATIBLE with, because at the end of the day, that IS what should matter if you’re looking to get married (and especially if they can’t find a fair distribution of men like these within their communities). A woman who holds advanced degrees and is doing very well financially and career-wise shouldn’t have to settle for less than what she’s worth, if she doesn’t want to.

  • Michael

    Thanks so much for the great discussion! If any of you are interested, Dallas South News has two give-a-ways going until Friday, May 7th: a free copy of Bernice McFadden’s new novel “Glorious” & a $50 Best Buy Gift card. Check out the “Bernice McFadden” interview for details. There is still time!

  • Toni

    Oh this is funny.This Jeff person wrote an great article, I will give him that but this man no more “cares” about the aa community issues than I care about how the water in my faucet got there.The media is just taking its turn from bashing black men to black women, and we are doing as we always do-participate.

    All women of all races have trouble finding quality men which is why Eharmony & those other dating sites which primarily target white women were started to begin with (and these women aren’t dealing with high prison rates of its men for nonviolent crimes!). Please, we need to quit embracing bull no matter how wonderful it may appear-truth is black women have always been gutsy and it isn’t anything which started in 2010 as Michael writes.

    Look, as black women, we should know better than fall for such nonsense. We have never thought of ourselves as a stereotype as we have always been taught, stereotypes are for others and we have no control over that.We do not have the majority of abortions in this country as some poster misrepresented,we do not have the majority of stds,we are not the leaders in single motherhood,we do not represent the majority of those on welfare.

    And it doesn’t take a genius to know who leads in ALL those categories and only a little bit of research will shed light on this reality. Which again serves noones “vested” interest at this point. We are disappointed in *some* black men, yes, but most black men would rather chop off there arm than join in this garbage, so the *some* black men running there mouths and cosigning nonsense are a disgrace to themselves & oftentimes there own mother who busted her butt to do the right thing for him.If he wants to demean himself by reducing his mother to a stereotype because he doesn’t know how to date out or marry out based on what HE wants to do and has chosen the cowardly reaction of attacking women, well thats what he is -a coward.
    So black women are fine.

    Most of us are doing what we’ve always done and keep living our lives on our own terms.We realize everyone now has a vested interest to keep us down but it wont happen cause its never happened.We dont have our traits because we chose them, we have them because they are necessary and this article again just proves it.

    So, Jeff, nice article, I will give you that but there are also black men such as Eric Michael Dyson who are sitting back thinking “been there, done that” as they are the real leaders in resolving community conflicts in the aa community.Bottomline, black women don’t need a savior. Never have. Other women are trying to catch up to where we’ve already been.

  • Proud Veteran

    Success, to me, is the feeling I have when I’ve met my goals. The satisfaction of knowing I’m at a time in my life where I can enjoy the fruits of my labor. I am black and I am a female-biology made that so and I wouldn’t change for anything. Marriage is another thing I can’t will-into existence-because it involves another person.

    So instead of concentrating what I can’t affect on my own, I focus on what I can. I can’t stop the prejudice of black men who want to define me by their experiences, I can’t control what the media and reports put out-but I CAN control how I receive the information. I consider the source and usually it’s a single black man who doesn’t like black women, a person who doesn’t like black people or black females period, a stat based on a sample, or a media outlet looking to generate some revenue.

    I don’t have a preference for skin color in my relationships, platonic or otherwise. I don’t believe skin color predisposes a human being to a certain behavior, choice, or reaction, that includes me. So yes I am black, female, and satisfied and pointing out a stat, a quote, a celebrity, or your opinion changes none of it.

  • TheVoiceOfReason

    Ugh shut the hell up Sparks. Enough of the “it’s feminism’s fault” no it’s not! Feminism is not preventing men from having opportunities. Far from it!

  • coptic777

    “Your comments make absolutely no sense at all. Our children are behind in school because they weren’t breast fed? That is the most ridiculous and downright idiotic I have read in a long time!!! LOL.” Jessica it is obvious that you do not know that breastfeed children have higher IQ’s period. The fact that you are a woman a BW & do not know that & even laughed at me for it really proves my point. Thank you so many of us see you all as unworthy of marriage & motherhood. Good luck w/ the feminist thing ladies. Oh yea sky by the way I was breastfeed until almost 2 yrs. old & graduate high school 1 yr early because I skipped a grade. This is the BW we have to choose from today?? I choose to opt out like so many of us are.

  • Victoria

    Umm…Toni…didn’t you just basically say the same thing that Jeff said?…I am confused because you seem to take a condescending tone to this article. Honestly, I see no difference in his genearl message and yours, “Leave Black Women Alone”.

  • Victoria

    coptic777, I really appreciate you opting out. NEXT……

  • Key D.

    This is not an issue exclusive to “Black Women” every successful single women is subject to the same criticism for either choosing to be alone or if she is having trouble finding a compatible mate of any race. She is criticized for not being dependent on a man and not doing what most would think is socially acceptable …defining her by her relationship.

    I don’t think our society is dumb enough to think that the women in rap/rock/r&b videos represent their race, is not realistic! Successful black women hold the key to destroying this stereo type. We see them complaining over and over again on every piece of media they can find TYRA, OPRAH, THE VIEW, STEVE HARVEY, TOM JOYNER, TIME MAGAZINE…..

    Its so hard to find a good man/men are intimated by my success blah blah blah…If you are having so much fun being single and basking in your independent success stop complaining about how hard it is to find/keep a relationship it makes u seem unhappy and bitter, and no one wants to hang with that baggage. If all you are doing is bragging about is where you went to school how many degrees you have, how successful your career is and how great you are for buying a nice house and car congratulations!

    This is basic, every adult should be able to take care of themselves…what else are you bringing to the table other than a bitchy braggart attitude? This is where the stereotype comes from…

    Stop complaining about your single situation, show society that you are happy and maybe they will change their minds about single black women and leave you alone and there will be no more articles like this one.

  • koko

    I am white and it is very hard for me to find black or asian women attractive but there are still some desireable ones. what i really don’t understand is the bashing that black men do black women. All of you that resort to all kind of crappy statements are nothing else but brainwashed useles people. You find white women attractive because you are insecure and ….
    If you had the asian men stigma you would never get a non black girl.
    My words may sound dumb but are 99% true

  • http://DallasSouthNews susan

    Thank you so very much Jeff for this wonderful article. It is sad that BM can not celebrate the accomplishments of BW and would rather berate them instead of uplift them. I worked very hard to get where I am today. I worked two jobs to put myself through college. I am now working on my MBA. Thanks again.

  • Toni

    Victoria, I don’t care whether this country leaves black women alone or not-it has yet to leave the black race alone (and if you do a little bit of research on the beginnings of drugs/guns in AA communities you would understand this).So, this country will do what it does, we are simply squirrels.My point is we have black men speaking for us, although it doesn’t serve the media’s purpose right now to tell that side BUT i find it funny how this country loves to tear down black men and black women when it feels we are “too full” of ourselves and then some non black person comes in to save the day! Well you know what? these games are getting old and for blacks to make up 13% of the population there sure is a lot riding off us fighting with each other.Well, black people dont fall easily, so this may be entertainment for awhile but i guarantee you, it will change quickly.Meanwhile folks following our every move need to find something else to do with there time.

  • Toni

    coptic777,IF you are a black man (which i doubt) i am saddened by your woeful lack of women were leading in breastfeeding right up until the 80s but as a direct result of being mocked and discouraged from doing so because it was thought to be “uncivilized” many black women a result, the country then created a climate which worked against black women and now they are doing what is pervasive in this country–tear down to bring back up so that “they” can get all the credit. so, i suggest you do better research and speak with your black grandmother before you make judgements on your own race but since you are too much of a fool for that, dont get mad when you are labeled nothing more than an uncle are a good “boy”.now run me, you arent missed so dont let these stupid headlines fool women are out here living our lives and most of us, such as myself, are married to real black men.only cowards uphold white supremacy.keep kissing a$$, i heard it works in keeping you living on your knees.

  • coptic777

    Toni I am a black male self employed living in orange county, ca. You are a perfect example of denial what you are saying about black women being “mocked” is a bunch of B.S. I have heard every excuse in the book when it comes to this evil of not giving a dam enough about our children to breastfeed yet we are the failures??? BW wont even do what nature intended THEY ARE NOT FEMININE & the low breastfeeding rates show that. When your the highest in HIV rates high in herpes rate. Highest in abortion (which indicates BW use it as a form of birth control which means they are not using condoms which explains their high STD numbers) You all look real stupid talking about how much praise you deserve. You are actually blaming society (white people) for BW not breastfeeding I want brothers to take a good look at this & ask yourselves when was the last time you heard a BW admit that they were wrong about ANYTHING. They are master deflectors & experts at blame. Oh by the way when you tell me to do some reasearch can you at least point out where you got your info (I did) because it’s simply just your opinion you picked up on oprah. That is not going to work.

  • coptic777

    Oh toni by the way we will see how much of a real black man your husband is when you decide w/ no fault divorce & the overwhemly female bias family courts when you chose to leave (80% of all divorce initiated by women) & they force him to pay you child support & vaginamony w/ you screaming how independent you are all the way. It’s coming your secure in the marriage if you/when you decide to drop him he is not secure he will have to pay you for the rest of his life w/ a white judge sending a white cop to jail him when he does not. Yea your husband was real smart to sign up for that deal.

  • Toni

    coptic777- I figured you would be back with nonsense.Listen, I’m sorry if the women in your family look and act like men but the majority of black women are out here doing our thing.For a longtime now, we haven’t needed the black man for anything.Most of you are losers and you know it which is why you all dont even fight for each other.In fact, the only thing most of you idiots agree on is interracial dating cause it gives you a new pool of women to leech off of.Has nothing to do with being feminine as most black women are good in this area- you choose to see what you want but it is what it is-most black men aren’t men so maybe it’s a fair trade.You all spend more time nowadays trying to tear black women down, adding stress to those black men who aren’t stupid like you, that you dont get anything else done.You are weak and I’m sure this isn’t the first time you’ve heard it.My husband can’t even get you dummies to help out in the community because so many of you are too busy thinking about sex–seriously, are you all used to anything? Again, you are not a well read individual, so you need to keep your trap shut about breastfeeding.You should have just been aborted anyway, just like all the other loser black men who think like you and we wouldn’t have this “problem”. Thankfully more black women will be exercising this option.And you sorry piece of you know what- black women do NOT lead in abortions, nor adoptions, nor single motherhood!! Again, do research before making dumb statements.Be with who you want but do everyone a favor and quit speaking on anything effecting the black community cause you aren’t a part of it, so why do you care?

    I also find it funny how you guys talk about a black womans physical appearance when so many of us are beautiful or at least look better than what most of you all are seen with. Don’t call out physical traits only to be seen with a large woman or one whose plain or just flat out unattractive.The majority of you are doing nothing more than chasing a fantasy and sex! You suck monkey balls and you know it.I suggest you quit pushing black women so hard cause everyone knows we have no problems kicking your butts! LOL. – so, do yourself a favor a grow a pair.compete with other men will ya?!? stop comparing yourselves to black women and what we are doing–we are good.and don’t worry about me and my husband- if i take him for all his money he would have deserved it (and just for the record, i’m a movement all by myself, i don’t “need” anything from anyone).

  • coptic777

    “And you sorry piece of you know what- black women do NOT lead in abortions, nor adoptions, nor single motherhood!”

    “we are good.and don’t worry about me and my husband- if i take him for all his money he would have deserved it (and just for the record, i’m a movement all by myself, i don’t “need” anything from anyone).”

    Brothers look at these two comments. It says a lot first the denial that BW do not lead in abortions anyone out there who can see how much they deflect & deny anything that does not give them praise no matter how bad things are??

    The second comment is exactly why it is questionable to deal w/ them or any of these feminist american women. You see she knows she has control of him if/when she decides to up & leave. Do not get me wrong he could up & leave himself however given the current family court system she is in charge. She can & will take him financially & is bragging about it. This is how open this is now. Men watch & learn we need to avoid them. Any man reading this can see this is the common attitude among these women. Why would you want to sign up for this giving women like this an opportunity to force you to pay her for life???Marriage w/ these attitudes this is a fools game brothers.

  • Toni

    coptic777 -I don’t think you could be more of a buffoon if you had set out from birth to make it your lifes mission.In truth, I could honestly careless about your opinion of black women.We are a movement by ourselves.Maybe if black men didn’t make up the majority of the prison population for the same darn thing(I mean seriously once you see that other black males are getting locked up for the same illegal activity commonsense would dictate that if you are going to break the law, pick a different one to break!), and maybe if black men weren’t known for being cowards and *running*, your opinion would mean at least a little something.You can talk about breastfeeding until your eyeballs pop out but I just want you to know that you are state certified. You are nothing more than a loon.Please stay away from black women!!! Don’t even go near your mother, you are a disgrace to yourself and humanity.What a fool you are O.J.(how are you knees doing?)

  • Toni

    coptic777–furthermore, black women are getting smart and realizing most of you aren’t the marrying type anyhow. you only want to sit on your black asses & leech off of women.if the aliens were to invade, you all would be first in line to leech off of them and have little mixed alien babies and call them black! listen, black women have listened to your garbage long all are such racists and you’ve poisened the minds of black women, especially the ones in there 30s and so forth but it’s not working anymore.we are so done with you and could careless if you get your butts whipped for 30 days and 40 nights cause chances are you would have deserved it.listen, black women are done if you haven’t noticed.the thrill is so gone and at the end of day, black women will get the last laugh. you “men” are an absolute joke and despite our indoctrination-black women are discovering it is black men, such as yourself, who are the real evil ones in this world (but you are just too stupid to actually carry out a plan).big ups to white men! white power!!! lol.

  • Victoria

    Toni, haven’t you heard that it is pointless to argue with ignorance. This guy (coptic) obviously hates black women and he can’t see past that. It is almost like trying to reason with a KKK member. Don’t even waste your time with him. He has made his point. My thing is this, if he hates black women so much, why does he even respond to this article? He can just ignore us and let us be. With black women historically being loyal to black men (rarely ever dating outside their race unlike black men), I wonder where the herpes and AIDS comes from? My sister works in an AIDS clinic and she tells me about the many gorgeous black men that come in there and test positive. Honestly, this is why I don’t even go there! Sex if COMPLETELY off the table unless I am married. I am not going to die for NO MAN!

  • coptic777

    Notice how neither one of them present any facts to back up thier lies. Once again google myths about divorce. almost 80% of all divorce is from WOMEN WHO LEAVE THE FAMILY UNIT period No matter how much BW want to paint a different picture the fact is MOST OF THEM CHOOSE TO BE SINGLE MOTHERS. This is not my opinion. It even shows one of the studies from discovery health that states women leave because of favorable family court laws that make it attractive for them to be single mothers. Your lies Toni & Vic will not circumvent those facts no matter how much you try. BW like you are traitors actually spreading lies about your own men. DO YOU SEE ANY OTHER RACE OF WOMEN ON T.V. CALLING THIER MEN GAY & NO GOOD CRIMINALS ETC. Time to face the facts brother WE HAVE BEEN BETRAYED. They are part of the system that has us locked up @ 45%. Oh again BW of ALL WOMEN are the number users of that court system. Guess who they use it against??? Again brothers read these BW comments the evil vindictive nature shows. Oh by the way if so many fine BM have aids why are BW overwhemly in the lead. Oh allso the number of bi black men are only 2% according to the CDC so the down low myth aint going to cut it. No matter what you all say again BW NUMBER 1 USERS OF ABORTIONS OF ALL WOMEN. Do you see a pattern here???

  • Victoria

    Coptic, you are just sick and that’s that…There is no use arguing with you. This article was simply about Black women making lives for themselves and you turn it into all of these statistics. I love black men. I have some very awesome black brothers, a prominent black uncle in the production business and a black son. I want nothing but the best for all of them. You are just ignorant and there is no use arguing with your sick twistedness. So, you will be ignored after this. If you hate and despise us so much, go somewhere and forget about us, go off your mother, since she is a woman and she is black. Maybe you will feel better.

  • Victoria

    And the reason so many black women are in the lead with AIDS is because there are MORE Black Women than Black Men and there are Black Men bedding more than 2-3 women in the same given time period. So, it spreads…duh…..Black Women outnumber Black men 6 to 1. Look up the Book called “Circles”. It is a fiction, yes, written by a black woman that talks about how this comes to be. Plainly put, I am expanding my options to include men of all races, so whom ever I marry, it definitely won’t be based on his race. Amen!

  • Denise

    Coptic777 I agree, family courts are overwhelmingly bias towards the women. Essentially, if you have a child by a man and you are bitter about him leaving you, you can do anything short of physically killing him and get away with it until that child is 18. My husbands ex-wife has legally terrorized him, using his child as a pawn against him. She has mastered the art of riding the family court system and then feigning “victim” to gain sympathy when necessary. Our marriage has virtually been destroyed via countless court cases, out-right lying on the part of the mother, and we’ve even been stalked repeatedly by the woman over the years. We eventually estranged ourselves…but much of the tension had already taken a toil. The child is not seeing her father during this estrangement (Sad). This is courtesy of the mother and her violent, irrational actions, but of course the mother is going around claiming that my husband is a “bad father” who just doesn’t to see the child. She leaves out the part that whenever we have to deal with picking up that child, there is major DRAMA. The woman would call day in and out and if he didn’t return her calls she would leave threatening messages. This child doesn’t have a father because the mother terrorized him to no end. There is just so much any person can take. It was like psychological rape for me, so I can only imagine what my husband is feeling. Nevertheless, I will divorce him if I ever have to deal with the mother of his child on the constant and debilitating way we have in the past. I think ALOT of Black women have children to “trap” the man, and then when he doesn’t marry them, or divorces them, they use the children against the fathers as “punishment” for their bitterness!!! I don’tbelieve that Black men as a whole are just “bad people” who don’t care about their own children. I think there is definitely a strong hidden dynamic going on here with the CONTROL the Family Courts had over to the mother against the fathers. No man want to be controlled by a woman he doesn’t want, for eighteen years. They will disappear! Until the courts throw the mothers in jail for Parental Alienation, or for manipulating or harassing the fathers, this will continue. If the Black man is a day late with the child support, he is thrown in jail. If he harassed the mother, he would be arrested. They same should apply to these hateful, bitter women!

  • Queen

    Another thing I want to add that nobody talks about , no strike that I have heard some very vocal comments on this site about their feelings about black women.Alot of black men are extreemly hostile towards black women and if they are not hostile they ignore us. Living in California, we are invisible out here. the brothas date and marry everything but us. I have found Many blackmen are not interested in marrying black women for one reason or another; sure they will sleep with us,use us and make baby mamas out of us, but not marry us. They attribute it to us having too much attitude, too angry, to independent, too bossy,etc. Yes there is that element of black women sad to say, but there are many black women who desire marriage and family who are not eye rollin,neck-poppin sapphires, but they many times get no love from the brothas, especially out here in Cali.if you don’t look like Kim Kardashian or Beyonce’ you can forget it. I have lived out here most of my life, so I see it first hand.

    I have my own business, I have been independent most of my adult life,out of necessity not becasue I am feminist or despise men. I am the opposite I strongly support the men who fear God,and want to be protectors and providers but the brothas I have come accross have wanted to use me financially, sexually or both, but not marry me and when I make it clear I will not put up with that nonsense, they are out of there which is fine with me. I find that many brothas who judge some black women as being “difficult” in reality are just mad that some of these women will not allow these men to make whores, baby mamas, or mules out of them and expect these men to be responsible and respectful and they confuse that with being unreasonable or difficult. Lamar Odom had a black baby mama for 10 years had 3 kids by her but never married her, Kloe Karsashian with a very detailed pre-nup which included laker tickets for life got a marriage proposal within 30 days and a wedding within 60 because she made it very clear she would not settle for less. he did not label her difficult he signed the damn papers and he married her. It also demonstrates that when a black man or any man wants a woman bad enough, he will give her what she asked for and not call her names in the process. If a black woman had asked for all that she would have been labled a gold-digger. So alot of single working black women are between a rock and hard place , if they can do it themselves they are too independent for the brothas,if they want support they are gold diggers and either way they many times wind up flying solo

  • Queen

    @ Coptic and any other hostile brothas out there.Many of us have also experienced what I have aforementioned where the men who many times do approach them want to make mules , whores, or baby mamas out of them, but WON’T MARRY THEM and they have had enough so because they wont “put up with it” they are labeled difficult and so on. I have a friend from High School who is an executive at her job. She had a man who had a 9 month old child by one woman, a 2 month old by another woman, and had another on the way by another woman, he was not working, was not looking for work and was trying to talk to her. She refused. Tell me, should she have given him the time of day, possibly had become baby mama #4 just to “prove” she was trying to give a brotha a chance and not looking down on him? Is is wrong to expect the man you are with to be responsible and have some order in his life???? Another statement I am sure will be made is what kind of men are these women dealing with; to answer that, I will share this; I was told by an aquaintance about a friend of hers who was dating a brotha who was in the military, smart, intelligent and well spoken. He also had 2 women pregnant at the same time he was talking to her and she ended the relationship. So men from all walks of life can be scummy.

    I also want to address that some of the responsibility MUST to be directed at the men and how they TREAT women. I am sick and tired of this being lightly addressed as if their careless behavior has no bearing on how women react to them. Did you know that after slavery the two things that black women had to endure at the hands of black men was ABUSE and ABANDONMENT?? Many men use and many times abandon the women who “had their back” when they were down and out. And I am not talking just about black women in this stance although it does affect us ALOT. Did you hear about ex-NFL player Tiki Barber who dumped his wife of 11 years who is 8 months pregnant with twins and their two sons for a 23 year old INTERN?? Let’s not forget Tiger Woods and his “staff” of 15 mistresses and then there was the singer Eric Benet who while he was married to Halle Berry was trying to hit on a friend of mine. These men who have good supportive women in their corner yet they still mess around. (SMH) And I know there are some of you who will say “well he can’t make a whore, mule, or baby mama out of her consent” and you are right and when she puts her foot down and says she won’t allow it she is judged very harshly for it, especially black women, they can’t win no matter how they act. If they support their men despite what the men do, they are chided for being foolish women in “letting ” men walk all over them. If they put their foot down and refuse to be treated badly and want to be treated well then they are ” unruly and difficult”. I am not talking about these ball-busting women who wave their 6 figure job and college degree in a mans face and look for a reason to put him down every chance they get. That goes without saying, who would want to put up with that??? I understand when men want nothing to do with that, but I am talking about women who just want loved , protected and cared for. Very simple requests. Which leaves me with the question what do men really want? It seems no matter how we respond or behave you men are finding reasons to blame us for not having a mate. It was our fault, it is our fault, or it will be our fault, right??

    I have a friend (A former international model) who was at a club with a friend of hers (A singer and American Idol Semi-Finalist.) They were sitting next to 4 brothas who ignored them both. “We were damn near in their laps,” she told me. A short time later, two handsome italian guys approached them and they started talking. Guess what happened? The 4 brothas “all of a sudden” were interested in my friend and her friend and tried to holla at them, but they (and rightfuly so)ignored the brothas ans kep partying with the yummy italian men. sMy friend said she has had that happen before with the brothas and she know at that point that it is no longer about her, but about the brothas need to do “manhood” measuring with the men to “prove” they still have “the upper hand” over “their” black women. She knows if those men had never approached them, the brothas would have continued to ignore them

    . there are alot of good men out there and you have my highest respect but let me also say this, you men have no idea what we as black women go through we are hit from every side. Many of you judge us for being “too dark”, Not pretty enough. Those of you who have white male friends try to “poison the well” by telling them we to difficult to love if we have our own “too independent” if were look to you to be a provider we are “gold-diggers” if we let you “do as you like” becasue we love you and don’t want to lose you we are “foolish” if we hold you accountable for your behavior we are “difficult” In some of your eyes we are either the overbearing sapphire, the asexual mammy, or the jezebel whore, and if we date outside the race, we are called self hating “sell outs” We cannot seem to catch a break and frankly we are tired and refuse to let the users and losers of the brothas (NOT THE GOOD DECENT BLACK MEN) trash us anymore. We are refusing to be the saviors for the black community anymore, sacrficing opportunities for love and happiness. We are not mules and we will no longer carry the burden of responsibility that you have long abandoned to take your johnson to greener pastures.

  • coptic777

    First of all queen how many deat beat brothers since we are all deadbeats want to make “baby’s mama” What you said is an oxymoron. Obviously these deadbeats never wanted kids so I ask how many men do you see saying that they want a babys mama? That statement is not true at all. More excuses for the fact that WOMEN ARE THE CHOOSER OF WHO THE FATHER OF THE CHILD IS. remember my body my right?? Only when it suites you all women do you make that statement yet when YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE A BABY OF OUT WEDLOCK. IT’S ALWAYS THE MANS FAULT. Amazing. also you BW never bring up the fact that most of you are fat women. Queen I can tell you are overweight that is why the only men you attract just want to use. Successful men ARE NEVER W/ FAT WOMEN LOOK AROUND. Since most of you are overweight that is also another reason brothers w// some money & some sense do not want you.

  • coptic777

    By the way black women read Denise’s response. she gets it. You see about 30% of you do see what is going on. Again google myths about divorce the idea you black women tell the world that BM leave their children is a lie. The number of women CHOOSING TO LEAVE THE FAMILY IS OVERWHEMLING. No matter how much you bitch & scream YOU ARE TELLING THE WORLD BM ARE TRASH WHICH MAKES YOU TRAITORS. YOU ARE THE NUMBER USERS OF THE COURT SYSTEM WHEN YOU KNOW BLACKS & HISPANICS GET THE WORST TREATMENT IN COURT. Almost 80% of men proven innocent in prison & released ARE BLACK!!! you run to the courts w/ baby in hand knowing what they will do & guess what??? A new article just came out saying blacks are slipping even deeper into poverty. Black women who are you working for??? TRAITORS!!!!!

  • coptic777

    Victoria by the way that statement about bm having multiple partners so WE GIVE BW AIDS IS NOT TRUE. Studies show most BW are really sleeping w/ a small segment of BM. Most of you ARE SLEEPING W/ THE SAME BROTHERS! I can back up my claims hence why I telling you all to google this & that because it brings up several sources at a time yet these women offer no sources themselves & only say what they “feel”. Have you all noticed that for those reading these post. You see black women are not logical AT ALL. NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE NEVER WRONG & YOU CAN NEVER BE RIGHT. I only engage them here so folks can see how they think! It really shows!!

  • coptic777

    One last thing. Child support agencies are a FOR PROFIT BUSINESS. They get federal funds for each case they & can collect from. In 2008 the CA child support agency had around 197 million dollars in what is “undistributed child support” meaning money paid mostly by men that the mothers never got it. Guess what after a certain amount of time I think some years THE STATE GETS TO KEEP IT. This is just one example of system that is designed FOR PROFIT. not in the best interest of children. Also the money they collect is used by the state to pay employees & even goes to places like the bar association etc. Remember the bar assoc.? & who are members of the bar you ask?Judges & lawyers are all members. Thats right folks the judges ruling over CS cases indirectly gain from the game. FAMILY COURTS IS A BIG BUSINESS INDUSTRY. They made it easy for you to leave & make him pay you. Black woman you feel hard for it. I had to dig to find this. I can forward the link for anyone interested hit me up @ gabriell1309 @ ya you get the picture.

  • Toni

    coptic777-ha! How can you say black men dont give black women aids & then say black women are sleeping with a small segment of black men?!?!? Please get your head out of you know where.Studies also show that men pass diseases to women the overwhelmingly majority of the time! Do you really want to know how many black women in Atlanta-married, chillin and found out they had AIDS?Now I don’t offer excuses to a woman who is having sex with prison men-that is just gross and nasty and she gets what she gets but a lot of these women are getting diseases by what I call false relationships.The guy “runs game” (isn’t that what you all call it) and tricks her into thinking he’s some type of preacher and it’s all she wrote.So please quit with the propaganda.As far as family courts black women refused for many years to report black men for anything, even physical abuse–absolutely refused because we knew what that meant.However, laws were created to put pressure on black women in order to get you all to pay up and show your flippin faces–had you just done what you were suposed to do in the beginning, the problem wouldn’t be there.So, we have had enough.I’m not excusing any woman who has a baby by some no count man BUT the majority of single mothers either have one or two babies and it was usually in the context of some relationship by some black man who promised her the world.Also, the majority of black women are not obese as you want to believe- you are just scapegoating and seeing what you want to see–furthermore, maybe i would believe the weight excuse if so many of you weren’t seen with large women or plain women or just flat out unattractive women.Hey, and I hear many of you have even resorted to marrying strippers.I mean seriously.Quit embarrassing yourselves.I mean seriously, I used to defend black men like a freaking yard dog when someone said anything negative about you all but I realize now just how foolish I was.The first chance you all get to throw us under the bus you take it just so you can live in fantasyland or to tell Becky what she wants to hear-oh, please. You are nothing but a coward.I feel so sorry for your BLACK mother.You are a disgrace.(and not to mention it’s men like you who make it hard on black men like my husband whose out her trying to make a difference ).I’m so ashamed of you & I pray to the heavens above you arent a black man.

  • Toni

    Denise- I have a feeling you aren’t a black woman, so really who cares about your opinion of black women.Furthermore, non black women make up the majority of single mothers in this country & black women do not lead in abortion and adoption as so many love to believe.Our numbers as far as growth support these facts.Can’t be having a bunch of babies and kill them like crazy all at the same time.I’m sure there is more to that sistas story than what you’ve typed.With the custody battles going on in this country I don’t think any race has room to talk.As a matter of fact, that’s our problem as a black race–everyone feels they have a right to chime in-NOT! If you are not black, butt out! Most of you have enough of your own community issues you could focus on.

  • coptic777

    Once again notice that these black women have not given a single place where you can verify there sources. Also I will not be writing here any further after this. These BW are lying period. YES BLACK WOMEN DO LEAD IN ABORTIONS ANYONE CAN REFUTE YOUR CLAIMS SIMPLY BY LOOKING IT UP. Fact again most of the time WOMEN LEAVE THE MARRIAGE all this talk about men leaving their children & BM need to pay up is ridiculous. When you google myths about divorce it even shows that the reason divorce is so high is because the laws are so much in the womans favor it makes it attractive. Google a feminist named Lenore Weitzman. She is the PHD who got the child support & vaginamony laws set up according to her reseach. Guess what she admit in a seattle times article after ten yrs. that her study about men leaving wives & children broke WERE FALSE. She even apologized for the damage this caused families in america!!!. Yet the courts still use her false data. No matter what you women say. YOUR LIERS & TRAITORS TO BLACK MEN. Look how you are telling lies on us on this board. Oh by the way Toni you are wrong women can catch an std far more easy than men. No matter what more of you have STD’s in way more higher numbers than BM. That w/ the highest abortion rates indicates BW are not using condoms. Every thing you are saying is false black women are mostly overweight just go to any black community or even a club most are fat are you really going to argue w/ that??? They are always in denial no matter what. Checkmate I’m done!!!

  • Toni

    coptic777 -I’m going to really need you not to be so women have never in our lives betrayed black men!! Also,I never said women can’t catch an std or hiv easier than a man–that’s my point–women most of the time get these diseases from MEN because it’s spread easier!Especially hiv.It used to be the women getting these diseases were primarily drug users but now they are finding these women were in some type of “false relationship”.What about that dont you understand?Now that is the core of this problem because we have black men well into there 40s thinking he’s cool by “running game” on women-he’s basically bragging about his ability to trick women.How pathetic.And you are right, it isn’t a huge percent of black men spreading these diseases but it doesn’t take a huge percent since men can go from woman to woman with ease.Couple that with the black male culture itself which admires men who make it there lifes mission by acting like children even with there greeting “whattup playa, whattup pimpin” or whatever you fools say-well that is a recipe for disaster.

    Furthermore, you are what I call an “educated” fool but you aren’t knowledgeable in the least.If you were able to decipher information you would know that approximately 6-10% of abortions are believed to be performed in private clinics.Private clinics aren’t required to report abortion #’s & in fact most dont.The link is they’ve found that it’s mostly non whites who are the biggest users of public facilities the great majority of the time when seeking an abortion & couple that further with states such as alaska, *california*,iowa,new hampshire,oklahoma who dont report to the cdc at all about abortion well now the picture is clearer and you should be able to use your brain* to come to a reasonable conclusion about the truth about abortion. And as far as overweight, again another lie being pushed–black women make up about 37% of those considered overweight, hispanics about 35%, and white women about 29%–(and not to mention black men lead in there respective group as well for speaking about being overweight)…so as you can see NOONE has room to talk about someone else being fat because all groups are affected which is why it’s called an EPIDEMIC!!! So, yes, I do see fat black women who need to lose weight but I see a whole bunch of fat people, period -and I’m sorry if you go to low class clubs/bars but the places my husband and I frequent generally have nice looking classy people who are generally fit.So do you, no problem with that.Good riddance actually because your mentality has been a drain on the black community for too long, but dont make a mistake in believing it’s some great love loss.You are a disgrace–I agree, you are done! Now checkmate that.

  • oreowriter

    What’s also strange/interesting is this idea that marriage is another indicator of success. It’s an odd holdover because though divorce rates are (I think) falling somewhat, it’s still very very common for marriages to fail. So to find fault with a demographic because they’re not marrying, seems like the wrong way to look at it.

  • David

    This article is unbelievable. Although I agree with the author’s conclusion, that black women should be left alone to marry whomever they want, I disagree with his premises.

    Women of all color in America are earning more degrees than men; as a result, all college educated women are less likely to find a college educated man ( ). This is not a black man’s condition; this is a human condition.

    The “hip hop culture media machine” doesn’t reflect black culture, it reflects entertainment. To use commercial media as a premise is a little troubling. As you drive through the black community, tell me, how many block parties, complete with rappers and half dressed girls pumping their bottoms at a camera lens, do you come across? I have never seen one. Should I assume that white women enjoy lifting their bras in public after I view a commercial segment of Girls Gone Wild? The premise is fallacious.

    And finally, to bring up the “abject failure (of young black men) in virtually every area of measurement in our culture” is alarming. I will skip the hasty generalization of “young black men” and address the assumption that they are failures. In his book, “Black Like Me”, page 91, John Howard Griffin writes, “They (social studies) don’t deal with any basic difference in human nature between black and white. They only study the effects of environment on human nature. You place a white man in the ghetto, deprive him of educational advantages, arrange it so he has to struggle hard to fulfill his instinct for self-respect, give him little physical privacy and less leisure, and he would after a time assume the same characteristics you attach to the Negro. These characteristics don’t spring from whiteness or blackness, but from a man’s conditioning.”

    It took generations (since 1619) to put black people in this condition, it may take generations to get us out of it.

  • Queen

    @ Coptic No dearheart I am not oveweight I am actually in great shape and men do not use me because I do not allow it, I am also engaged to a white man who is very well off financially and is not a loser like you who wears his ignorance like a badge of honor and enjoys making assumptions about people he does not know. I laugh at you, you are a pathetic, poor excuse for a man (if you can even be called that). Thanks for all of what you post, you ae the kind of man my married and soon to be married girlfriends and I laugh at as we drink champagne and enjoy our lives.

  • Queen

    And adding to that you failed to remember where I said I praise and salute the good black men out there in my posts but based on your rude, ignorant,low class insult in your above comments,I see you chose not to recognize that and therefore made it clear that you are not to be counted in that group of good RESPECTFUL men.and YET you expect black women to give you resepct with comments like this. (tsk tsk tsk) and men do not use me because I CHOOSE not to be a whore, mule, or some losers baby mama and I am happy with my choices because it eliminated those clowns and paved the way for my wonderful fiancee’

    You said: Since most of you are overweight that is also another reason brothers w// some money & some sense do not want you.

    Really? and where are these brothers with “some”money and sense? I have seen alot of brothas with no money and no sense! I work around alot men in my line of work and I see very few of these mythical money making brothas in abundance unless you count the brothas trying to sell me insense at 10 for a dollar when I am entering Borders bookstore or Barnes and Noble to pick up my coffee and Wall Street Journal. Many (NOT ALL) of the ones I do meet want white women anyway. And when I meet up with my girls to work out, I would hardly call sizes 6-10 fat and the stares we get from good, GENUINE black men white men and men of other races in the gym, in the lounges,and the gorgeous italian men when we travel to italy (who call us “bella,bella” which means BEAUTIFUL in italian as we walk the streets of Rome) and the sexy spanish and french men when we travel to spain and france on our vacations. I have tried to tell my sistahs to stop obsessing over the worthless opinions of men like you and to get out there have fun and live their lives. I am glad they are finally starting to listen and they are HAPPY!! For you ladies out there who want to get a taste of what it feels like to be adored and appreciated by some real men google black girl travel and treat yourself, you will not regret it!

  • Queen

    @ Toni what you said to Coptic:

    So, yes, I do see fat black women who need to lose weight but I see a whole bunch of fat people, period -and I’m sorry if you go to low class clubs/bars but the places my husband and I frequent generally have nice looking classy people who are generally fit

    I agee, I see the same thing;overweight men and women from different walks of life but the places I, my friends and my fiancee’ frequent, the people (men and women) take good care of themselves (Beverly Hills, Malibu,Pacific Palisades,etc) I too DO NOT frequent these lowclass clubs/bars that it seems that Coptic probably frequents therefore belives that every black woman that some lowlife wants to use and abuse has to be fat or overweight. Shhh let’s not wake him up out of that delusion becasue then he might actually make sense! (lol)

  • Victoria

    @Queen….I love you girl….you said everything I wanted to say…I can’t even comment. Enough with this dude (coptic). He just wants some attention. If he hates us so much, he should just ignore us and keep stepping instead of attacking us. This article has zero to do with him. And I agree, I don’t believe Denise is a black woman at all. So, I couldn’t even finish reading it because it was so full of BS. It probably is coptic posing as Denise.

  • David

    What do men really want from women; respect. Respect is abstract. Each man has his own definition of it. You must figure out how your man defines respect. Most of the time, he will tell you what it is. For starters, don’t embarrass your man in public; don’t tell his private business, (business that’s not illegal, immoral, or inappropriate), to friends and family. Stroke him physically; touch him, occasionally when he least expect it. Stroke him mentally; tell your friends and family that he’s a good man; read what Toni says about her husband on May 10, 2010. Feed him, please; he will be less irritable. Men usually don’t marry because they are in love; they marry because she makes him feel comfortable. This is why any woman can get just about any man she wants; seriously. And ladies, please, smile. Even if you don’t have any teeth; smile.

    What do women really want from men; love. Love is abstract. Each woman has her own definition of it. You must figure out how your woman defines love. Support her financially; give her the things she needs. Be gentle with her; she is not a man; don’t speak to her roughly. Be kind to her; understand her and listen to her without giving advice unless she asks for it. And most of all spend time with her when she wants you to; turn off the TV and go out with her.

    Both men and women have something the other one wants but are reluctant to give. Men want respect, which is really what the men are commenting about. Women want love which is what the women are commenting about. The only way to have a good relationship is to be unselfish in it. Give your man what he needs; give your women what she needs.

  • Victoria

    David, I agree with you on what men vs. women want. However, some have come on here with the sole purposes of attacking and nothing else. It is my belief that if you want “respect” you need to learn how to give it first. Also, I think that if you read the article without bias, you will see that Jeff is stating the “media’s obsession with the ‘failures’ of black men in society” while hugely not acknowledging the success of black women. He is not bashing black men or trying to bring up the issues with black men. He is merely stating that the media is quickly to discuss the negative issues with black men and basically ignore the success of black women. I listen to him daily and heard when he announced the writing of this article. He basicially said that he was sick of the media trying to force marriage down black women throats and not acknowledge that black women have come a long way and are surviving on our own.

  • Victoria

    I am wondering why I haven’t seen as many black men commenting on this piece writen by a brother in this same publication:

  • coptic777

    Most of what is wrong w/ american black women today. Had to show this typical attitude among them we are suppose to wife this???

  • victoria

    lol…sometimes you have to learn to laugh at someone’s…dude, you are funny and pathetic to say the least (coptic)

  • David

    Victoria, I reread the article and see your point. The author does states that the media, not the author, is sending out negative messages about black men. I’ll have to send him a letter of apology.

    And I agree that respect is something earned. This is why no one should associate with anyone who doesn’t respect them.

    And, coptic777, I disagree that there is something wrong with black women. The problem is that men and women (it doesn’t matter what color they are), think and behave differently, and have different needs. If we don’t accept that fact, we will become frustrated with each other and attack each other as Victoria pointed out.

  • coptic777

    Whatever I have left actual sources while you all given only your opinion. Lie to yourselves if you want to. The world & people in general see how you act at the malls, work etc. That video is a typical scene on how american black women act & YOU ALL KNOW IT. Oh david nothing is wrong w/ black women? really why are they mostly single then w/more & more brothers like me wanting nothing to do w/ them. The denial of the state of emergency of our people is amazing they actually think they are doing well!!! Guess what just to de bunk another myth I think it was the 2008 census that shows that BW DO NOT MAKE MORE $ THAM BM. Another thing they think they are ahead in. All this talk of BW bashing when everyday BW are on t.v. radio, (owned by whites) daily telling the world we are all criminals, gays etc. & we are attacking them?? The victimhood never ends. Why are they disproportionately higher in hiv, herpes , single mother hood, lowest breastfeeding rates etc. all the things that no people can progress & survive with & you just there is nothing wrong w/ them???? Ni#!a please!! I’m out just had to show that clip. It is so typical.

  • David

    What would you suggest these women do to better themselves?

  • Queen

    @ David,Coptic is not interested in black women improving, he is too busy putting them down, it is what he loves doing. He belives that black men are perfect and that black women are the problem. Even if he came accross in his opinion a good black woman he could not accept her, he would be too busy looking for something to be wrong with her, picking on her, criticizing her and tearing her down. Men (if he can be called that) like coptic you just have to leave alone and ignore him his opinion is not going to change. Eagles deal with birds (like crows) that annoy them by flying higher to an altitude that those pesky birds cannot fly at becasue it chokes them out. You deal with people like him by flying higher not by staying on his level and arguing with him, becasue the only result is he will continue to be annoying and you will stay frustrated.

  • coptic777

    Notice that none of you again present any any facts or sources to back up your claims while I present things that anyone can verify. I only continue to respond to do an overkill so people can truly see your B.S. David funny how I am suppose to have the answers why don’t you ask them??? They are the one in denial. It’s obvious.

  • Toni

    coptic.The average black man is having a hard time working and staying employed.Those are just facts.Study after study consistenly shows black men on the bottom of simply not being hired, with black women running a close second.Black men overall, “they” say are making more money than black women but black women make there money from difference sources while black men typically make money in the sports & entertainment areas.Well sorry but most black men aren’t nba/nfl players so guess what? We are more likely to run across a black man who doesn’t even have the basics, let alone anything which will make him comfortable. You are sorely lacking perspective-AGAIN. I agree with Queen, you are just an embarrassment because you are bitterly frustrated–and that’s even if you are a black man (which i’m starting to doubt).

  • Charles

    I am an educated black man raised in a single-parent household by my mother,who is my hero. I am educated,goal-oriented and very ambitious and I support and love an educated black woman. I’m physically fit and it is very difficult to get a Nubian Princess to look my way. I know a lot of black woman have been mistreated,but not all black man are intimidated by your intelligence and strength,my mother taught me that. I’m built like a football player,but I’m only 5’7″ and most want a man 6’0 or more. I’m not getting in to this subject,but women out of my race constantly ask me out and accept me for who I am. However I refuse because I want a black woman in my life,I’m black and will stay true to that. I applaud all of you lovely black woman and take my hat off to you. One thing I have also learned is that success means different things to each individual. I have standards but they are realistic,and my dreams do not have to necessarily be my mates as long as we heading in the same direction. I do not measure a woman based on her personal wealth or materialistic things because this will never make you happy. I may have two degrees but my mate does not have to. As long as you has goals and is doing something with her life that is all I need. We can work together and build our own empire.

    What I’m trying to say is judge based on my actions and not be superficial. A strong black educated woman is wonderful to me.

  • Charles

    Sorry, for they typos :)

    I welcome any advice anyone

    thank you,

  • Victoria

    From a highly educated black woman, I commend you for all of what you will offer a good black woman Charles. But I will say that if you do happen to marry someone who is non-black, they doesn’t mean you are any less black than any other black person. You will still be “true to yourself” as long as you remain honest and work towards your goals and purpose. I will admit that my preference has been that my future mate be close to 6 feet tall (I am 5’2″). This is only a preference, just like you prefer black women only as opposed to non-black women. Of course, I would never turn a good man away for something as superficial as height, as long as he is a good man and treats me well. Anyways, God-speed on your search for your Nubian queen.

  • coptic777

    Toni ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE LACKING ANY SOURCES TO BACK UP YOUR CLAIM. You are simply stating your beliefs nothing more I only engage you all just for people who really think can see the difference between black men like me who are using our heads & not falling for popular crap you hear on tyra & oprah that BW seem to live through. Again the 2008 cencus shows different no matter how much you say otherwise BW DO NOT MAKE MORE MONEY THAN BM. Another myth shot down yet they still deny. The lack of logic or reason is amazing they are like overgrown children refusing to see anything outside of themselves. Here is what none of you present which I continue to. A legit source:
    Here are the numbers for those earning over $50,000

    778 women make over $50,000
    1252 men make over $50,000
    Toni time to admit you are incorrect in your rant.

  • Charles

    Although times have changed to a degree,I still believe that the heart is not always right,we still need to think about the effects that interracial dating will have on our families and our culture as African Americans. Victoria, I appreciate your words of optimism and compassion. I am definitely Pro Black in every way and will wait until god sends me the love of my life. I understand that one can still be black regardless of who he or she dates,but it makes things difficult in a way. I have seen it for myself many times. People in my opinion don’t think things through and just go with the flow,listening to there hearts and that is not always best. I have seen families broken because of interracial dating,children with identity issues. I don’t want that and will be one of the few African Americans in this world maintaining the tradition of dating exclusively my race. This is the way it should be. We have major issues with one another. We barely acknowledge or speak to one another in public,it’s ridiculous. I feel that we go to other races seeking something we cannot find in ourselves. I grew up in Detroit Michigan and noticed the love and bonds the Asians and Arabs have for one another. They own all of the gas stations,convenience and grocery stores in the black communities. We don’t support each other and have so much potential. If we did then there would not be so much interracial dating. People would be happy themselves and there cultural. My last point to interracial dating is a white woman is not going to understand what I go through in a white mans world to survive. It can be very difficult at times being a strong educated black man. She may be compassionate about the issue and try to understand,but that is all she can offer. I have done a lot of research on this and find that just about every culture puts a white man on a pedestal. Many date him because he represents power in this country. There are more white billionaire and millionaires then any other race. If blacks worked together we could achieve so much more,rebuilding our communities and love for one another. No more killing and slander against each other. It would be great to see.

  • ctm

    Lot of angry people out there. To the women who are angry at men because they feel the men are not worthy and upstanding, I wish you felt better. To the men who are worthy and overlooked, I wish you felt better. In the meanwhile, rather than waste time being mad, why not go out there and find what you are looking for, what you claim to want so bad?

    …or it that you really are really only interested in dating yourself? No human being is good enough for you.

  • Naima

    what a sad sad commentary on modern black life. the comments not the article. i smell a rat. the rat of envy – the deadliest of all the seven deadly sins. my mother was queen and captain in our household because our father rejected marraige and family life. much later, honest man that he had finally become, he told me, ” the second best thing your mom ever did was to leave me so you and your brother could have a decent life.” in spite of his many failures, some within his control and some not, at least my dad was honest and not a black woman hater. why all the hatred, the sneering at the humble and the magnificent accomplishments of many black women? we are right to seek and complete post secondary education; we are right to work hard and pay our own way; we are right to want the best for our children and we are right to refuse to have any children we cannot support. a woman with no education who cannot pay her own way ends up a frog for snakes! if any of you men have sisters or daughters, is that what you would want for them? if you were raised by a struggling single mom who still loved you and did her best, did she not do the right thing? and if she did not, can you not see that lack of education and resources may have had something to do with that? come on now! and the california black woman is right,too . i have seen that social situation with my own eyes: the marked preference for “other.” whatever. the world is large and round and time waits for no one. there’s a plane, a bus, a train, a rental car, a boat, a canoe, a horse, a camel – something leaving for somewhere 24/7/365. an honorable woman who wants to find an honorable companion and mate can and will. there are black men of african descent if that is your bottom line EVERYWHERE, and other men too who would love to get to know you better despite all the ugly press and nonsense propaganda of these so-called reality shows featuring some of us us at our worst. and if not, and if you don’t find the one — as sade says, ‘keep lookin.’ meanwhile, life is still good. there is so much to do and see and be. onward. be happy amidst the haters. by the way, i know bunches of good black men, too many to count: married, single and looking, working, raising their children and other people’s children, studying, traveling, doing all the right things just like the women who are doing the right things. all you haters need to turn off the bube tube, take a vacation from all media. read some black literature. get out and experience real life. chill. squash this conversation because it isn’t a real dialogue just a monologue for the wounded…

  • Ciderkiss

    Wow, there are black men still on this thread bashing? Good Lord!

  • copticiswrong

    er, coptic777 you do realize that your income numbers would apply TO BLACK MEN WITH JOBS, yes? and if we look at BLS statistics, we’d see that the black male unemployment rate is about 17% while for black women, the rate is about 12.4%

    mind you, those numbers only include people who are not imprisoned and who are actively seeking (non-military) work.

    if you are going to play the statistics game, play it well.

  • Beebop

    Cop my man, you can rave on about the courts and the child support system ’til kingdom come but bottom line – you can always keep it in your pants or use a condom. No one can get you in that system unless you let them by not being responsible sexually, so unless you choose to be, stop complaining.

    I’m reading your comments and all I can see is that the only way you know how to define a BW is by what she does for you. She is a good and worthy woman if she looks the way you think she should (i.e. a white playboy bunny), acts the way you think she should, supports you in the way you think she should, refrains from doing what threatens you, has no opinions of her own that might conflict with yours. It should’ve stopped being all about you when you were 16.

  • Beebop

    I just want to second Naima’s advice: the media will create your life if you let it. It creates unhappy lives because no one buys what they don’t need if they’re happy with themselves. And if you let it, don’t complain that it’s not what you want. Turn off the screens sit quietly with yourself a little every day. If you don’t it can be very hard to even know what it is you really want.

    And we fight together and stand together to be free – ultimately to be free to be our authentic selves, whatever than may be, not to move from one type of oppression/suppression to another.

  • Zaza

    Well said Beebop.Coptic,clearly you had some bad experiences with some black women/rejection or something,but they do not represent all black women,just like your opinions don’t reflect all black men’s thank God.

    You can go crazy if you buy into all the hate spewed by people like Coptic,but clearly that person has problems/issues that he’s projecting on everyone with his ‘WARN everyone and tell them the TRUTH! about black women!!’campaign.
    Whatever.If you are so happy ‘opting out’ Coptic,surely you should be too busy being Right with Miss White,or feeling Amazing with Miss Asian, to be chatting about us?(=Imaginary opting out I’ll bet).Why are you even thinking of black women anymore?Why are we still in your mind?Get over us.As the article says; ‘Leave Us Alone’.

    So racist are your views on black women,that if you went and repeated what you’ve said on Stormfront,they’d think you were one of them.First prize for ‘Slave Mentality of the Year’ goes to you Coptic!I’m sure you and your black mother are proud!

    I agree with an earlier poster that all this media obsession over black women is an attempt to pull us down because the most famous family in the world,in the White house is a loving strong black one,and the President is married to a BLACK,fit,healthy,educated woman who had a successful career and is a loving and involved mother and wife.In regards to the negative press,black women have been through worse,and we will get through worse again and many of us will still come out strong and successful.If some black ‘men’ have a problem with that,thankyou for ‘opting out’ you excuse’s of men.

    Much love for proud black men who appreciate their blackness,I know you are out there as I’m glad to say I know such men,unfortunately Idiots like Coptic shout the loudest and are busy on ‘SERIOUS INTERNETZ BUSINESS EDUCATING THE PEOPLES ON BLACK WIMMINS’ whilst you are out doing your thing.

    Back to the article!Just want to say to all the black women out there studying and working hard,mentoring,setting up businesses,doing their best,making successes,raising families,let’s take a minute and be proud of ourselves.Keep it up ladies!

  • coptic777

    zaza can you please provide evidence to support your claims as I have. You see the shaming tactics of “you must hate BW” are not working. Put up or shut up. Again for people reading this notice they provide no proof for the claims they present. Look up what I told you about. Not to sound like a broken record but to re-cap. Google “myths about divorce”. almost 80% of all divorce is from WOMEN who break up the family. Not because of abuse of drugs etc. simply because they “not happy anymore” & the laws favor them overwhemly.

    This is a fact that disputes these claims that black men leave their children in droves. Again another fact BW are the NUMBER 1 USERS OF THE COURT SYSTEM even more than white women!!! The same courts that have blacks making up 46% of the prison population. How many BM do you see running to white folks i.e. family court?? Whites themselves do not even deny we get worse treatment in court & BW love to run to them yet I hate BW? between the courts & them on every t.v. & radio stations telling the world how much scum we are who hates who?? Fact when women go to family court THE FATHER IS LEGALLY SEPARATED FROM THE CHILD. Is anyone w/ any common sense going to deny this refutes the claims about BM & why so many BM are not in the home? Remember the father is legally refered to as a “visitor” not a parent. Any one who goes & sits in family court can confirm this despite how much BW CLUCK & CHICK & deny this.

    Fact BW are the number 1 users of abortions yet listen them on here wanting praise & talking about how black they are yet abort black babies more than any “white man” killing us again they will not denounce this yet I hate myself?? They make their hair straight to look like white womenA billboard put up BY WHITE FOLKS telling BW not to abort children went up in GA & BW were offended wow. Am I killing our babies like they are ? The hypocracy is amazing.

    Fact BW ARE THE LEAST LIKELY TO BREASTFEED OF ALL WOMEN. Yet they have the nerve to talk about our parental skills as men??? I have a question for BW on here are most of the BM you know running from their children? Your brother , cousin the BM you work with? Really most of them are running out on their families despite all the studies that show otherwise & the laws that give you huge sway over him??? These BW on here do not actually dispute 1 fact I present they simply strike back w/ catch phrases they picked up on oprah.

    Oh by the way copticswrong the only problem is that you mention the “BM are mostly in prison myth” it’s about 5% of BM are in prison or jail that disputes your claims simply because you are using that myth to say we do not work & are all in jail B.S. Also all you presented was one statistic about those who are underemployed that does not even begin to make your arguement about BW not earning more than BM. Not by a longshot.Really if you use just your logic it supports me because despite underemployment being more w/ BW we still make more period. (i do need to to state that was the 2003 cencus).

    While I am not going to grab every statistic BW are the highest in hiv, herpes single mothers & the list goes on so how exactly are they doing so well??? This video sums it up I already knew these facts but the brothers here sum it up nicely. (almost everything they complain of about us is hype) For those reading this they use lines like “you just have a problem w/ women” to escape the logic & the numerous sources I posted on here. THIS IS NOT MY OPINION YOU CAN LOOK UP EVERYTHING I SAY FOR YOURSELF. You black people on here giving praise to single moms are part of the problem. Hey morons no people has survived w/ so many single mothers yet you claim to care about the “race”. GTFOH So BW who I have not seen one of you on here speak against the countless ABC specials oprah, trya banks show, from ricki lake to jenny jones of BW bashing BM on WHITE OWNED media outlets yet I am the face of hate?? I see it everyday & not a peep from you so called “lovers of blacks” Do you see any other race of women trashing their men like this??? Honestly ?? Their double standards & lack of logic knows no end. What other people do you who have such high rates of single mothers & ARE PROUD OF IT? That alone speaks volumes of the ni#*er mentality that has infected them. My god where are the men at besides the manginas on here praising single moms based soley on their mom actually support these out of pocket who do not hesitate to bash you on you on a dime? Momma boys scared to tell the women they need to STFU. They even make their hair straight to look like white women & I bet zaza does as well yet I hate myself EPIC FAIL LADIES!!! The american black woman the true destroyer on the black community.

  • Zaza

    First,I thought(as you said earlier)you were leaving this discussion?Do you not have any other purpose in your life or something?Move on.

    What “claims” did I make that need to be proven?
    Are you clearly obsessed with your ‘BLACK WIMMIMS IS WRONG’crusade?Yes.
    Do you have a black mother?Yes.
    Is the President married to a black woman?Yes.
    Are there still mentally balanced decent black men out there in relationships with black women?Yes.As for ‘proof’,I see it in my personal life,something judging by your time spent here,you do not have.

    You seem to be confused about who the article is referring to.It is referring to the ‘succesful but single’usually young,educated,working and childless black women who have recently been the focus of media attention.Not the poverty,STD afflicted,five kids with three men,kind of black woman you are ranting about.Your comments are largely irrelevant to this actual article.Go to some white supremacy forum,I’m sure there are many discussions there where your comments will have relevance.

    On abortion I am for choice.I’d prefer people were responsible enough to not have created an unwanted baby in the first place,but bringing less unwanted babies who can’t be properly cared for, into a world where there are already millions of unwanted children without homes,is not a bad thing in my book.

    Are black women climbing on top of themselves and getting themselves pregnant?Black men(many not all)are sadly known for running away from responsibility;are you also going to run away from the fact that black men should use protection and not be making babies if you’re gonna cry about the repercussions of such irresponsiblity?

    ‘The american black woman the true destroyer on the black community.’
    It goes both ways,american black men have many well documented shortcomings as well,you obsessing with black women isn’t going to change that.As someone else said,it really is quite funny that these loser black men like Coptic find some kind of empty victory in competing against (black) women.You don’t see any white men arguing over salary levels with white women.

    Your appeals to those reading here to hear your message; are you aware that your obsessive,repeated, increasingly unhinged and CAPITALIZED!!1! with troo factzz and youtube linkzz comments,quite honestly make you appear unbalanced?No one of sound mind will buy your bile.

    You aren’t doing your cause any favours.Keep banging that drum though;whatever keeps you from going out into the real world and having any kind of real relevance is only a good thing.

  • coptic777

    zaza last response since I demolished you in my last post. Again you just claimed that it is well known BM run from their children that is one of your claims I was talking about yet you question what you need to prove bymaking a broad & false statement like that. Exactly what I mean no logic or reason like overgrown vicious children. Thanks for proving my point. Checkmate

  • Archie

    496,000 black males are in jail…..there’s the 17.3 million black men in america! (check US Census Bureau race in prison)So how is it 1 in 3 BM in jail….BM made more money than black women a cross the board and the amount of black men that makes more doubles in each paid bracket ….Check the(US Census Bureau)…the problem is that BW out number black men 2 to 1….and since we are few in number there women that are non- black that like black men too….Black women are having problems in selecting a mate!!!!

  • Ciderkiss

    @ ZaZa It seems as if you want black women to still be seen as stereotypes.

  • Sonya

    Thanks for writing this article. That’s all I have to say.

    Black women should be celebrated — not dissected and labeled as defective.

  • chris brown

    Great article, a lot of black men in 2010 need to wake up and see it for what it is.

  • Jan

    hmmm I think you have touched one of the most major reasons of the media’s new obsession with black women…to lure them into the hands (and beds) of white men. I am beginning to realize all the black women bashing in the media is partly to shame us for being successful, often ethnocentric, and stereotypically Sapphires. By trying to down and degrade us, the media is trying to cause division in the black race and lure us away from our natural partners (black men) by suggesting over and over that we have no value.

    I think that this issue is deeply seeded in porn, rap videos and even the workplace where white men meet attractive/compatible black women who a lot of the times are not interested in them because they are seeking a black man alone. This is a big ego crush I’m sure. So the white male powers that be (the media) are trying to sweep us into the beds of white men through negative propaganda and distortion. I admit I used to be on the DateAWhiteGuy band wagon until I realized a lot of what I was internalizing was BS to destroy my already shattered race. Fact is, people don’t want to see healthy black relationships. For decades the mainstream has been trying to appropriate black culture and now they have taken it so far as to try to appropriate black people themselves (again). I’m not buying it. If you are so interested in single black women sir…I hope you can find a young lady brainwashed enough to fall into your lap…pun intended.

    Black people please WAKE -UP! Stop fighting one another.

  • Will

    I liked the article as a 20 year old Jamaican boy I realize that this black girl trend is getting deadly. This girl I know in school is a mulatto moms black and the dad is portugese white man and he berates her mother all the time. It was really sick and disgusting and her mother was prettier then she was I have never seen a prettier woman till this day even asian guys looked at her with an awe she was truly beautiful but she was full of self hate she hated me and told her daughter to not associate with blacks or mexicans. She told her that white was right and everything else is outta sight. This made me feel bad but it woke me up to something that i’ll never forget in my young life it is simply a divide and conquer game it was an old tactic that was experimented on with natives then africans in slavery. It also tells you just because you marry a white man or woman doesn’t mean you’ll be free from burden. It is another tactic to keep you fighting in the 21 century where we all should be equal or so many of us thought. Black men who don’t take care of their kids i’m going on a personal killing spree on them and black lower class women need to stop playing the fool. don’t give these men the access their assholes who will never love you only what you can do for them physically. Its really all men who do this I had white girls who found me attractive tell me that white men are big douche bags who only want a suck and you know what else comes next. Anyway we need to stop bickering and realize we have the greatest history we made everything from Hip-Hop, Techno, House, R&B, Disco, Funk, Jungle, Drum&Bass, Broken Beat, Tango etc. we have vast knowledge its time we return to it.

  • 3rd Class Felon

    I for one have no problem with black women and their celebration of success, what I do have a problem with is these same black women will go on nationwide TV talk shows and say “there are NO eligible black men for me to marry”


    If you want to live the white lifestyle go right ahead and choose the millions of available white men out there available for marriage. Black women should stop going on these shows and using the “failed black men” (such as myself I have a felony from 19 years ago that keeps me from getting a good job) as an excuse to date outside of the black race.
    Many of us black guys don’t go to college because of the fact we made poor choices in life such as myself when we were younger. Think of it like this, why should I go to college, get an advanced degree, graduate, then hit the job market only to hear the following:

    “Sir, you do have the education, but you can’t pass the background check, unfortunately I cannot hire you, good day.”

    Of course this is NO ONES FAULT BUT OUR OWN, but in the same token in my case that was 19 YEARS AGO and it’s still being held against me?
    It’s ok, I started my own computer business and now ANY company that descriminates against men with a conviction I charge TRIPLE the going rate. The work done is excellent but those companies will pay up the A$$ for it. As too many black men are in a situation of “no way out” and that’s not good for society marriage relationships or the country.

  • Kemon

    This white guy clearly has an agenda !

  • ann

    generally Males “are not given” – kindness, ease, gentleness, and stable – mental, emotional, social, and academic support, attention, knowledge and skills (unless by accident). Society in its ignorance from the nineteenth century belief Males should be strong considers such attention and support as coddling the Male child. Society still holds that Males should pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. As a result, Males are not given the tools to develop many mental, emotional, social, and academic skills. This greatly cuts down on their motivation to develop those skills. The combined effect of society only rewarding strength and power to face aggression; neglect in many social and academic areas; not rewarding but acting with more aggression toward Males who attempt to develop mildness, kindness, goodness, and care for others are hurting many Males. Over a period of years, this is leaving many Males less supported, more stunted in maturity and thus, grossly unable to compete in the information age, which requires a slow accumulation of many complex mental, emotional, social, academic skills and talents.

    The nineteenth century belief Females should be protected is also still in place, which offers much kind, quality and continuity of mental/emotional/social/verbal interaction and support from infancy onward. This continues through adulthood. The two different treatments are also affecting white and Hispanic genders, but the lower the lower the socioeconomic bracket and the time in that bracket the more amplified the differential treatment.

    What I cannot figure out is why Black educated Females are not looking over their shoulder or head out of the ground to see how such differential treatment is greatly affecting their group and so many Black Males, (sons, friends, brothers, etc) and hopefully the rest of society that will soon be faced with the same dilemma. Why are they not doing something to help correct the more harsh neglectful treatment suffered by Black male children and hopefully other Males in the world?

  • Coach3008

    Jeff no longer at KLIF

  • Ekunk

    Whyyyyyyy?????? Where did he go!!??

  • Haroldlittlejohn5

    Wait till next week then we’ll all know,,, last week he went off the beep edge, ranting @ a pie chart,, a bit out of line he was.

  • Andrea Lewis

    Great post! Could not agree more.

  • MiMi

    I didn’t think anyone but black women noticed this anti- black female propaganda in media :) …. Thank you so much! You have no idea how it impacts us to know that other people notice these attacks against us as well… I came across your article while reading another (link: read that article.

    I clicked the link and it redirected me to this site. You have NO idea, how much it means to ALL black females who notice anti black female propaganda, just as we are not becoming but ARE the most successful women in America today… The whole CONTINENT, both of them. We dominant in the college scene, and according to positive statistics, are some of the most successful female business owners. Just as we are rising up, a wave of anti black female propaganda attempts to bring us back down. We notice it, and we complain about it daily, but to see that others, especially a white male, notices this, gives us hope that soon others will notice this propaganda as well and stand with us to fight against it…

    There is also anti black female/white male, IR couple propaganda being pushed as well…. Here is another article to read on the propaganda geared against black females in IR relationships.

    After you read these links, come back to this post. Black female/white male pairings are more successful in marriage than our counterparts, but media is trying to tell us the opposite to discourage this pairing for some reason. They won’t show you cute pairings like in this YouTube video, but they WILL bombard you with negative images of the pairing using their media.

Average Joe
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